Anita decided to bring out the needles yesterday. Ouch!
Why the fuck are their vents on the top of my Bic highlighter caps. Is it so they can dry out quicker and I have to buy more??
Class was fun yesterday. I ate a delish, but undercooked steak before class, then had to fight hard not to end up 'squirting steak'. Ewwww!
Don't you love when the temperature is 50 degrees, and you have to step outside to WARM UP???
What the world needs: Hookers who don't have sex, but rather sit on guys faces wearing spandex. Would probably be a limited market though.
God bless this man!! www.ioffer.com/...
Eating an onion bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Surprisingly, it's not as god awful as it sounds.
@Bucky92 Actually, yes. I took Sunday and Monday off to be with her. And she has been busy putting things in my ass.
Just created a new unit of measure. While playing Zuma, I yelled 'Eat a dick of shit'! Not sure yet of the exact volume of a 'dick'.
Define 'painful'. Getting a papercut UNDER your fingernail! Mother fucker!!
Wonder how difficult it would be to convince the WVU women's gynmastics team that it's good luck to sit on my face and wiggle before a meet.
Can someone just kill this Kayne jackoff?? Please??
Pink's song 'I'm Not Here For Your Enterainment' is great, but one thing it is in need of is MORE COWBELL!!
If gymnasts didn't want me jacking off to them, they shouldn't 1) wear shiny high cut spandex leotards and 2) spread their legs so much!
If Coors Light cans are so well insulated, wouldn't they prevent the beer from getting cold when you put it in the fridge??
My stomach just made the exact same sound as the intro to Steve Miller Band's 'Jungle Love'. Goddamn chili!
What the fuck is the purpose of the letter 'c' in 'indicted' and 'p' in 'corps'?? Is this English we are speaking?!?
Can we just kill all these redneck jackoffs who hang fake testicles from their trailer hitches? Are they announcing they like balls or what?
Would someone please murder Dr. Phil? For the good of the world?
I know not what a 'bastard bitchpiss' is, nor do I care. (It's thoughts like this that make me think I should be in protective custody.)